Hustle As Hard As You Hate 

Hustle as Hard as You Hate

 In the community of mental illness, you come across a great number of warriors, all at a different place in the journey. Some are just beginning – having recently gained an awareness of their illness and are looking to break a path that is right for them as they move towards recovery. During these times, they may look for the support of others who have gone down a similar road, much the way someone may consult a road map when travelling the unknown. 
For those of us that have been on the road for awhile and know some of the helpful things along the way, sharing this information is a way of healing for ourselves. It gives a sense of satisfication and purpose to try and ease the burden for others, because we understand and empathize with the pain and confusion that a person may feel. 
But sometimes, people demand more than just a navigator. They want you to be their rescuer. Despite the fact that you tell them that only they can do the work to make effective change in their lives, they insist that they can’t do it, and instead rely on you to make them happy. 
Recovery from mental illness takes a huge capacity for hard work, self-determination and a desire to want more for yourself. It means sometimes taking that plunge into the deep end of the pool, trusting that the lifeguards are there to help if you start to struggle. It doesn’t come without pain and tears. 
The only way to get out of the rabbit hole you find yourself in, is to go through it and climb out the other side. No one can do that for you. And when you exhaust people for making those demands on them and they run away for their own mental health, turn the critical eye inwards. 
People don’t leave because they’re all assholes. They leave because of the negativity and unwillingness of others to undertake the challenges before them and invest in the hard work that recovery entails. Therapy, self-reflection, and more therapy. 
In the 11 years since my awareness, I’ve thrown myself into any therapy offered and done my best to apply that therapy in my real life. I’ve gained coping skills to help me deal with intensity of emotional dysregulation, stress and thoughts of suicide. I’ve experienced relapses and setbacks, but I’ve picked myself up and kept moving on. 

Maybe you should hustle as much as you hate. 

The world doesn’t hate you. You hate the world. And you get back what you give out. Play a victim and be a victim. Play a warrior, and be the warrior. 
We are all in charge of our destinies. Mine will continue to be one of hope, peace and kindness. A world where I will have boundaries and not surround myself with negativity and self-loathing. A world where I will not concern myself with the lives of my foes. For I practice compassion and know that we all have our own journey to walk. I will however continue to instill boundaries in my life that protect me and what I’m striving to become. 
You won’t destroy me. 

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About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
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