In Star Wars, there’s a classic scene where the storm troopers are Jedi mind tricked into believing that these were not the droids they were looking for, allowing for the safe passage of the heroic characters. The phrase “these are not the droids you are looking for” is often used when people are looking in the wrong direction or are on the wrong path.
Never having been a real Star Wars fan, I didn’t understand my husbands frequent reference to this phrase and would roll my eyes or ignore him. I finally watched the episode that this clip appeared and it was like I finally got what it meant.
And then my husband really flipped my world! I had come home from a doctor appointment feeling confused about myself and my recent diagnosis (and finally confirmed) of BPD. I was questioning who I was and my whole identity and he simply said, “these are not the thoughts you are looking for”. It was one of those lightbulb moments!
Since that revolutionary conversation, I find myself using this saying to evaluate the thoughts as they come by and decide which ones I am looking for. They’re all there. I imagine them as a stream of fish swimming along.
It’s up to me to choose which thoughts I want to focus on. That was empowering to know that while I may not have control over how many fish are there, or even how fast they swim, I can use my net and choose the ones I need. The others can stay there, doing their thing.
They are not the thoughts I am looking for.