I am doing my best to do just that. Be who I really am. The hell with conforming to what society says I have to be. I’ve grown tired of wearing a different mask all the time, trying to appease the world. I’ve spent a great deal of time, energy and therapy on working on finding out who I am, that I have to ask myself why would I want to stifle her now?
Trying to figure out which mask to wear in what situation is exhausting. My energies can be better spent elsewhere and I intend to do just that. Perhaps it’s the freedom that comes with getting older that allows one to feel able to abandon their disguises? Or maybe it’s finally that I’m at a point where I like myself. I believe the things people tell me and ignore the little voice in my head that whispers otherwise.
I’ve accepted that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I’m ok with that. My self-worth doesn’t rely upon having everyone like me. And I don’t have to like everyone that I come across, nor do I have to pretend to. I’m not going to change and stop that fact that I will continue to treat everyone with kindness until they do me wrong, but I don’t have to LIKE them to be kind. By adopting this way of thinking, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
When I chose to come forward about living with mental illness, at first I worried what others would think of me. Would they judge me as being unworthy? As I’ve moved along in my journey, I’ve learned that those that may have stood in judgement ended up not standing beside me now. For me, that’s been a positive thing as I’d much rather be surrounded by people who love and support me.
I guess if I could offer any of you advice, I would say this – let go of your masks. Let the world see you for who you are. Love yourself for the wonderful unique creature that you are and celebrate all that is you.
Let’s just all be who we really are.