Ok With My Crazy

2015/01/img_0576.jpg

Over time, I’ve come to accept and even love my crazy. I don’t fit into a cookie cutter mould and I’m learning that I never will. It gets easier the older I get to cope with that reality, so for any of you out there that are young and feeling like you don’t belong, embrace your uniqueness! One day you will come to love that part about yourself.

I’m a woman who falls into the “full-figured” category and for years I hated myself for this. I ached to be someone thin and petite and always felt like my life would be so much better if I was. I never considered myself attractive and didn’t believe it when others told me I was. But then, after a great deal of therapy and a lot of growing up, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am beautiful. Big bones and all. I accept myself for the person that I am and in doing so, am learning to love me. I don’t have to be a size two to be happy and neither do you.

For years, I found myself comparing the way I lived with the way I thought everyone else lived. The trouble was, I was only seeing what they wanted me to see. I believed that they had such happy perfect lives and I envied them. But now I know that nobody has perfect lives – everyone struggles at some point or another – and if I were to peel away the layer of “perfection” they were presenting to the world, I’d probably find a world of heartache lying underneath. Letting go of this idea was freeing.

I’m unique. I’m me. It doesn’t matter what others think of me because I know that I’m good and kind and decent. At the end of the day, I can lay my head down at night knowing I lived the best life I could that day. I’m ok with my crazy.

Advertisements

About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
This entry was posted in mental illness, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s