I have to admit that I’ve been hanging on by this thin thin thread for awhile now and I’m terrified that it’s going to snap and all that I’ve been working towards and building on during my recovery will fall to the ground and scatter, leaving me to pick up the pieces again and start over. I’ve started over so many times that I no longer no what it’s like to finish something. Each time another weight is added to the thread, I’m convinced that it’s going to break and I cringe in anticipation.
What is this thread that is holding on? Is it determination? Willpower? Stubbornness? Is it strong enough to bear the burdens that I place upon it? Having been ill for so long surely must be hard on that thread…..what more could it possibly withstand?
All I can do is hope that it doesn’t break. And if it does break, know that I have the strength within me to gather up all those bits that are me and put them back together again, this time using a stronger thread perhaps. Woven into the tapestry of our lives are all these broken and repaired threads, somehow holding together this person that is me.