My Love Affair With Depression

depression – severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
unhappiness, sadness, melancholy, melancholia, misery, sorrow, woe, gloom, despondency, low spirits, a heavy heart, despair, desolation, hopelessness;

Although I profess to hate my depression, I’ve been wondering if in fact I’m secretly in love with her. She’s familiar and I know what to expect from her and at least it means I’m feeling something right? The truth is that I’m afraid of what I will be like when I don’t have depression to define me….oh who am I kidding? This bitch and I have been together longer than any relationship in my life – she appeared in my early teens and has enmeshed herself into every decade since. She was always there to whisper in my ear and confirm my fears that I was not worthy of love and life was as good as it was ever going to get. She takes great delight in the fact that she’s been with me longer than I’ve been an adult….she thinks she really calls the shots in our relationship.

And up until now, she has. But I’m ready to break up with her. I’m going to end the affair once and for all. I have no idea what will happen once I wrestle control from her but I’m willing to take that chance now. If I live to be 80 years old, then I still have a whole entire life to live without her.

Oh and if she tries to lure you into her clutches ….kick that bitch to the curb!


About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
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One Response to My Love Affair With Depression

  1. Illicit By Nature says:

    Exactly how I feel!

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