Keep Fighting

The last week has been extremely challenging to get through. I live with Fibromyalgia and the pain has been increasing, especially with the change of the seasons. My back decided to go out at the same time so I have found that most of my energy has been focused on coping with the pain. It has been exhausting and I can feel the stress building up. 
Living with a mental illness is challenging enough, but when you add the burden of a chronic pain condition, they seem to feed off of each other. When I get through a fibro flare and think that I finally have some relief, the depression comes back with a vengeance! It’s feels like I have these demons living inside me and they are constantly battling for my attention. I barely get a chance to breathe anymore between their cycles and I can feel the damage of the storms. It takes longer for me to recover from each episode it seems.
And hidden in behind all those demons is the woman that I want to be. The one who’s loving and living life and experiencing happiness. I miss her – she used to be front and centre a lot but the demons seemed to have gotten the upper hand with her. I sometimes whisper to her to not give up – together her and I will defeat them. If I keep resisting them and not allow them to take over, we stand a chance.
I’m gonna keep fighting this fight and I will be the victor!! 

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About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
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