Do you recall the Little Miss Books from the early eighties that were designed to help children learn social skills? I’ve always confused assertive with bossy. And I have a very hard time tolerating bossy people. After learning more about interpersonal relationships, I’ve come to realize that the people I consider “bossy” are the ones who always want things their way and they will use whatever technique will work for them, which quite often include passive aggressiveness or agression.
So how do I handle bossy people? It depends on how much i Value the relationship with the other person. If I encounter a bossy lady at the grocery store, I’m likely to just avoid her and avoid a confrontation. If I end up in line behind her and she ends up being all bossy and rude to the clerk, I always say to the clerk how rude that person was because I don’t want the clerk to feel bad.
But what if its your spouse that’s bossy? First, communicate what you are feeling about their bossiness and then ask them to change the Behaviour. Tell them how it will improve your relationship with them and give the consequence of what may happen if they continue to be bossy…..and be ready to stick to that consequence!!
So Little Miss Bossy should learn to be Little Miss Assertive. She will gain more friends and have healthy relationships.