Some Days Are Just Hard

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It’s true. Some days are hard and they exhaust me. There are days when I absolutely cannot summon the strength to take a shower or make something to eat. The days when the mere act of getting out of bed makes you want to curl back up and stay there but you can’t because you have to pee and take your meds. Always take your meds.

And the bed calls your name as you groggily throw on a housecoat and stumble to the kitchen….and the sight if the dirty dishes piled up disgusts and angers you …..you were too tired last night to deal with them! But you root through and get coffee going because coffee is the lifeblood of all evil…..saying hello to the cats as I wait for the brew to finish….

Flick! Here’s goes the first cigarette of the day – after all there’s nothing better than a truckers breakfast of caffeine and nicotine. I’m so tired. And my body feels like its stuck in mud. And I know that’s its going to be one of those hard days.

The hours tick by as i struggle to get my household tasks done. By noon I am spent. And then I get sad because I’m so broken and then I get angry because people around me don’t understand.

“Oh if you exercised more you’ll feel better” – really? Tell me how i am going to find the energy to get dressed and put shoes on, let alone get out to exercise? But thanks.

“My friend started drinking wheatgrass and she’s healthy now” – really? I haven’t tried a 1000 things already? And I’m on medications that I can’t just add stuff to. But thanks.

“Oh think of some good times and snap out of it” – really? Oh that’s right, I choose to be sad and miserable and lazy, I forgot. But thanks.

Nobody really knows what is truly hard for that unique person and until we stop judging and making assumptions about people, we need to know and believe their story. You wouldn’t tell a cancer patient to just “get over it” would you?

Some days are just hard.

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About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
This entry was posted in mental illness and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Some Days Are Just Hard

  1. wendyenberg says:

    Reblogged this on wendyenberg's Blog and commented:
    Today’s a tough day 😦

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