When you are going through a particularly distressing experience, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that this battle too will end and you will still be at 100% for your track record. I want to tell you about specific things I did to help me through an emotional crisis and a difficult situation.
1. I allowed myself to sit with the feelings I was experiencing. I used some mindful exercises and some coping thoughts to get through the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing. There was sadness, grief, despair, loneliness, fear, shame and anger. All those feelings at once would be a challenge for anyone but to someone with BPD is often too much.
But I am proud to announce that the skills I’m learning each week are starting to pay off in my real life.
2. During the times I was weepy or afraid, I tried to do an action that would provoke an opposite feeling of what I was experiencing. So instead of putting in sad music and crying in the dark, I put in show tunes and belted out the songs in my basement. How can someone not feel happy when they’re singing.
3. I reached out to new and old friends sending out a signal that I was struggling. When you ask others for help or support you’d be surprised at how much you get from people. Thank you to my support team for being there for me – I truly did not feel alone.
4. I was gentle and compassionate with myself. I’m allowing my mind to recover from the stress of the last few days and not judging what I do or don’t do.
5. Being angry with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Them angry at you doesn’t mean they will leave me. Let feelings be true and honest even if they are painful.