Supporting Each Other


When you are going through a particularly distressing experience, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that this battle too will end and you will still be at 100% for your track record. I want to tell you about specific things I did to help me through an emotional crisis and a difficult situation.

1. I allowed myself to sit with the feelings I was experiencing. I used some mindful exercises and some coping thoughts to get through the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing. There was sadness, grief, despair, loneliness, fear, shame and anger. All those feelings at once would be a challenge for anyone but to someone with BPD is often too much.
But I am proud to announce that the skills I’m learning each week are starting to pay off in my real life.

2. During the times I was weepy or afraid, I tried to do an action that would provoke an opposite feeling of what I was experiencing. So instead of putting in sad music and crying in the dark, I put in show tunes and belted out the songs in my basement. How can someone not feel happy when they’re singing.

3. I reached out to new and old friends sending out a signal that I was struggling. When you ask others for help or support you’d be surprised at how much you get from people. Thank you to my support team for being there for me – I truly did not feel alone.

4. I was gentle and compassionate with myself. I’m allowing my mind to recover from the stress of the last few days and not judging what I do or don’t do.

5. Being angry with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Them angry at you doesn’t mean they will leave me. Let feelings be true and honest even if they are painful.


About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
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2 Responses to Supporting Each Other

  1. kevindeisher says:

    I really like this. One of the things my therapist has me working on is compartmentalizing my different issues and struggles. She wants me to take time each day to grieve and worry and the spend the rest of the day focusing on the present. I don’t do that well but using things like music, friends, pets, and even TV can help me get into the present more often.

    • wendyenberg says:

      I think giving yourself permission to grieve and worry each day is a positive thing because then you can “put it away” and get on with your day. When needing to be present, I find stopping to count my breaths for five to ten minutes really grounds me and keeps me in the present moment. Thank you for sharing your story with me!

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