Mondays Musings

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This weekend I spent with my family. On Saturday, my parents came in to celebrate Fathers Day and I must say that it was one of the most pleasant! My dad shared a few beers with us and we just spent the time talking and laughing. I’m grateful for the relationship that I have with my parents now, but it wasn’t always that good.

When I was going through my mental health breakdowns from 2006-2012, I spent a lot of time being angry at my parents. I blamed them for the way that I was struggling and for a long time I avoided being around them. Over the course of ALOT of therapy and time, I’ve learned that my parents did the best job that they knew how to do at the time. My parents married at ages 17 and 20 and their family was complete with two little girls three years later. How grown up were they themselves when they had to be responsible for two lives they brought into the world?

Therapy has taught me some of the reasons I am the way that I am and I must say that as I move forward in my recovery, forgiveness and acceptance have been vital. I love both of my parents and I’m so thankful that I get to share life’s beauty with them.

On Sunday, I spent a most enjoyable afternoon really listening to music with my husband. He has always used music as a soothing tool and when I allowed myself to relax and really listen to the music, it moved me. It was like I could see the music in front of me. We listened to music for about three hours and then after supper we relaxed with a Star Wars movie. Hubby is introducing me to all six movies, but we are watching them in their chronological order and not by the dAte they were produced. So last night was ” The Phantom Menace” and I have to admit it was good.

Sunday evening was cuddles all night in bed as we drifted off to dreamland. I thanked hubby this morning for such a relaxing afternoon and evening – it really did soothe my soul.

Today found me sweating my arse off mowing the grass. I’m always cranky when I have to do such a tiresome chore, but when it’s all done I feel such a sense of accomplishment. Perhaps I should learn to focus on what I’m gonna feel like instead of what I presently feel like! Hmmmm, that’s an idea!

I’m presently sitting outside a shopping mall while my daughter searches for a little black dress to meet her boyfriends parents in. Thankfully she brought a friend as I find wandering in stores way too much for my anxiety.

So today, life is good. I’m going to enjoy the present and try to keep the good vibes going!

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About wendyenberg

Living the best life I can with BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Mental illness won't stop me from achieving my dreams - it will inspire me to keep fighting harder.
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