What is acceptance and why do some seem more capable of practicing this than others? One of the key components of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (a very effective therapy forany people who struggle with mood or personality disorders) is to practice Radical Acceptance. Let go of fighting the reality and accept your present situation for what it is.
Once I started to practice this skill, I began to be more comfortable in testing this out with my loved ones. For example, if someone is justifiably frustrated or angry with me, I tell myself to accept that they are angry. That’s the reality. I can’t force them to not be angry – doing so would not be accepting of my reality. Once I accept that they are angry, I have to let that person have their emotion.
In the past (ok, let’s be honest as recently as a few hours ago) when I knew someone was angry or frustrated with me, it was intolerable. I would immediately begin to try to charm my way back into their good graces….I have difficulty in accepting that someone I love and value can be angry with me – they must hate everything about me – there’s that “all or nothing thinking”!
But in choosing to try to practice acceptance, I am trying to turn my all or nothing thinking into a more positive interpretation. It’s ok for someone to feel angry with me – and they do still love me. It is possible – wait a minute , natural for people in any relationship to experience a variety of emotions and not lose sight of the most important one – love.
Today I am choosing acceptance.