Today is a great day!! I woke up feeling motivated and raring to go. Had a very productive day at work – sometimes I even surprise myself! It’s a lot of work putting on a conference for 300 people! It’s like planning a three day wedding every year. I’m lucky that there’s a committee of us – splitting the duties up because its way too much for one person. Spent some quality time with my supervisor who inspires me every day to keep going. I’m so close to her – she hired me even knowing I have a mental illness because she saw something in me that I didn’t even see myself. We are so close that when I woke up from my second suicide attempt it was her beautiful face that I saw. She has been there for me in so many ways and I’m fortunate.
I find that because I’m so open about my struggles in maintaining my mental health, many people are talking to me about it – not only at work. I talked about it at my daughters volleyball tournament too! If someone wants to hear about taking care of their mental Health I’m there!! When things settle down a bit my goal is to host a brown bag lunch for my coworkers discussing the importance of mental health awareness and do my part to remove the stigma. I tend to use a lot of humour when discussing my own struggles because I think people can talk easier when it’s a little light hearted. That may not work for everyone and there are times when I’m not funny at all.
I share with my coworkers because I spend more time with them than my own family sometimes. I am amazed at the support that is there – sometimes it just takes asking for it – people generally want to help others I believe and if I help them understand the illness they seem more inclined to help me. I wear my mental illness loud and proud.
I have DBT tomorrow and its the last session in the distress tolerance skills module. I can’t believe how much I have learned from this series of therapy and I would highly recommend DBT to those who have difficulty with tolerating stress or emotional dysregulation. I find that I am practicing the skills on a daily basis and they are starting to become a habit for me. A big part of DBT is the concept of “radical acceptance” and “turning your mind” and I feel much more equipped to cope with the day to day stuff than ever before. Sometimes I’m not even aware that I’m using the skills and that’s a good thing!
To summarize this post, life can be worth living! I am finding joy in the small things and am grateful that I have found therapy that works for me. I’m starting to figure out my identity and I like me. I’m a great person who has a lot to still show the world! Stay strong if you are struggling ….everyone has their own journey to travel. I’m enjoying today for all the good it is….and living in the moment is helping me live for tomorrow.